I promise I will continue my column on food and mental health. Ultimatly my family is more important and they are taking more demands then normal. The truth is things have been spiraling out of control. J got so out of control physical I am lucky that I did not take long term effects. L is in a rough section again, apparently summer does not agree with her. S has been in her sleep or be ornery all day and cannot sleep at night phase. I have been trying to keep my head above water.
When life gets this out of control I figure I have two choices; change something or give up. Since giving up is not really an option it means things had to change. It took a bit for me to decide on a plan.
It ultimately started by me breaking down what J needs. He needs discipline, self control, positive feedback, and to find a place he could fit in and feel like a boy. I will admit that my first thought was military school. Then I tried to come up with a more reasonable solution. My thoughts turned to martial arts.
Before the divorce myself and the two older children did Taekwondo for a few years. We loved it. Unfortunately we had to quite due to finances with the divorce. It was the second time I had taken Taekwondo. I love it and was very unhappy to have to stop. For the last seven years I have missed it.
Which lead me to the thought that it was not fair that J got to do martial arts because he lacked self control and I would have to sit on the sidelines and watch him. The only solution was for me to join as well. After all everyone says that the parent has to take care of themselves as well. As hard as things have been lately I need something else for myself.
This means that the girls would have to join as well. I knew they would not be happy watching, and it is not like I could leave them home. I made this decision a few weeks ago, and the effects have already been very positive.
J has gone from violent and out of control before a class to laughing and playing with his sisters after. Like dietary changes, or even medications, it is not an instant cure all. It is one more step in making my kids happier, more functioning individuals.
The downside is the cost. Taekwondo is not cheep. I have spent the last few weeks cutting out any non necessity from our budget. This included cutting out the monthly shipments of Lara bars. When you add medical expenses, daycare costs, and also an extracurricular activity to a single parent income it makes things very tight. However, I am very fortunate that this is even an option, even if we will be discontinuing things like having internet at home.
There is very little science behind martial arts and special needs children. Yet this is because the research just has not been done. There has been research that shows that martial arts training decreases repetitive behaviors in children on the autism spectrum (Bahrami, Movahendi, Marandi, Abedi, 2012). Neuroscientist E. Paul Zehr (2012) demes martial arts to be an effective therapy method for individuals on the autism spectrum.
Martial arts classes have also been created for individuals with other physical and mental disabilities. Children with disorders such as spinal bifida and cerebral palsy have seen benefits when the program is aided by physical and occupational therapists (Woods, 2002).
When I worked as an ABA therapist I would accompany children to their martial arts classes. It was fun seeing children with limited attention and verbal skills attach themselves to martial arts.
I consider my families decision to start Taekwondo as a much needed therapy. Unfortunately, this is more of a personal opinion as there just isn't enough evidence to show benefits or harm.
References
Bahrami, F., Movahedi, A., Marandi, S. M., & Abedi, A. (2012). Kata techniques training consistently decreases stereotypy in children with autism spectrum disorder. Res Dev Disabil, 33(4), 1183-1193.
Woods, E. (2002). Martial arts and physical therapy: Exploring the connection. PT Magazine of Physical Therapy, 10(5), 30-33.
Zehr, E. P. (2012). Martial arts and the autism spectrum: Patterning in martial arts may help reduce stereotypic activity in autism. Retrieved August 15, 2014 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/black-belt-brain/201211/martial-arts-and-the-autism-spectrum
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