An Update on our Household - The Daily Lives of Special Needs

Lately I have been a bit tired and overwhelmed.

It is not that anything is overly bad. I admit that I have been eating too much sugar, and am going to work on detoxing off this one last drug for good. If I can kick caffeine, nicotine, gluten, and milk surly I can finally boost sugar out the door.

J is still doing the hormonal teenager thing. It is easier for both of us finally understanding that his aggression is attached to growing. My boy is growing! Just looking at the picture on my desk from Christmas and he must have grown at least four inches, and is starting to loose the boy face. Their are bad moments, but they last a morning not a month.

We are also making compromises. The boy is packing a lunch each day that weighs at least five pounds. In addition, I conceded and let him get a vegetable based protein powder. I still do not think that his body NEEDS it, but I did realize that his mind does. To him the protein powder means that he never has to be hungry. Which means that he will not steal and eat an entire bag of palm sugar.

S saved up her allowance and got a new cell phone. She lost privileges to her other one when I kept finding her turning the Wi-Fi on in the middle of the night and watching YouTube videos. The videos were of Winks - but TV does not need to be watched in the middle of the night. I did concede and put music on the phone. I instructed her that if I found her asleep with ear phones on that she would loose the SD card for a day. So far the phone has stayed in the living room at night.

She has, however, started to listen to music as she walks to school, and most of the rest of the time as well. The girl is as addicted to music as she is to sugar. I have tried to let it be, however it is still what I primarily use to reinforce her behavior. It is the only thing she cares about, so it is the only thing that can get her to stop destructive behavior.

Two major differences have happened at school. The first is that I got permission for S to have ear phones at school. I was primarily concerned about her being able to use them before and after school, and perhaps to calm down if she is extremely agitated. Her teacher went one step forward and said she can use them in the RSP room if the time is appropriate. The grin on my daughter's face when she heard the news was priceless. The second is that a card was created with all of the strategies that S is allowed to use to calm down. Now she can advocate for herself to get the services she needs. It is not as good as an aid, but with five weeks left of school I have decided to see if these interventions help.

L has been enrolled in a summer camp program. She is super excited about it. I even splurged and allowed her to take swimming lessons every week they are offered. Which means she will be in the pool for an hour nearly every day of camp. The girl is a fish - and she is super excited. The place was great. I told them up front some of the issues, and they got it. They have two other kids with autism there. They seemed to get me when I said it is easy to forget she is autistic, but she will need to step back and take the same interventions that they have.

I think it has helped with some of the stress. L has been using her words before freaking out a lot more. She will text me to tell me she is about to loose it. I do my best to leave work and pick her up. I do not know what I would do without this job! I could almost see the relief on the director of her after school program when I told him that L would not be attending summer camp, even if it was followed by the information that the older two would be.

We still have five more weeks of school (technically four and a half now), and grandma will be leaving for two weeks of it. So, we are not home free yet. However, I am hoping everyone can hold on for the rest of the ride.

As for me I desperately wish for an extra set of hands. We are constantly trying to clean up the house, yet just as fast a melt down or absent mindedness destroys it. My energy feels like it is all used up, I have been crashing as soon as I put the kids to bed. I think I officially overloaded. I have been minimizing what I can, but the truth is that still leaves me doing the job of four people. If you have one special needs child you know how hard it is. If you have two I am sure you are exhausted and overwhelmed. Can you imagine three? Now imagine three while still having to do everything - like make money to pay the bills. Some days I can not even imagine it.