Life

Someone recently told me that people do not like reading about other people. They want the facts, and how it pertains to their life.

To an extent I agree. However, ultimately I think that people do not want to feel alone. Do you know that adage "misery loves company?" People need to feel connected, to be understood, and to know that they are not crazy. Try telling someone that you kid threw a table at you in the morning, and you will NOT feel connected. That is, until you find a community that understands that sometimes tables get thrown.

That is why there is the genre of memoirs.

I have been neglecting my blog as of late. I have not made a menu for next week. We have eaten out twice, and crashed dinner at my sister's/mom's house last night when my nephew picked up the older kids so I could deal with an epic meltdown.

What is an epic meltdown? Well there are so many meltdowns in our house that I had to distinguish between ordinary meltdowns and epic meltdowns.

Epic meltdowns include:

-Attempted harm to self or others - such as trying to break in my car window with hands, jumping off car, or hitting or throwing at me.
- Destruction of Property - examples of this include cracking the screen on a siblings Kindle Fire (which must have taken serious effort), throwing the table across the house, ripping up objects, or throwing objects in an attempt to destroy them.
- Extreme aggression - this includes extreme verbal threats such as dismembering dolls or to pop the tires on the car. It also includes pounding objects, attempting to harm others, and anything else that is just too much.

We are currently having an average of two epic meltdowns a day. J is taking the morning shift, and L is loosing her mind after school. Not only am I late to work and covered in ketchup, I then have spent every evening this week with L not able to even get in the car. Do not worry, S has thrown a few epic meltdowns herself this week. Yet her moods do not allow for them to be on a nice schedule. She just rages for a few days at a time - the ice cream her friend bought her did not help.

It is the busy time at work as well. This is good because it has gone pretty smooth, but bad because I am in constant motion both at home and work.

In the process of this processes I met someone who is awesome. Which has led me to question the whole future possibility of dating. How could I actually date if I can barely function. How could I possibly get into a serious relationship and bring someone else to deal with all the drama in our house.

Yet it has made me miss the little things. The thought of sitting on the couch with someone's arm around your shoulder. Holding hands. Butterflies in your stomach at the thought of a kiss.

Not that anything would happen with this guy. I can only imagine he thinks I'm crazy. I actually started crying in front of him, after a really bad morning with my son. Which I probably made worse when I just stopped talking to him and walked away. I went into my office and had a panic attack behind my desk. Sometimes having Asperger's just sucks.