Where We Are

The thing with having three special needs children is that you always fill like you are running around in circles trying to get things better. You move very fast, but you never accomplish anything.

We had an intake appointment with the Regional Center for L this week. For those of you who do not live in CA the Regional Center is a grant funded center that has services specifically for individuals with developmental disabilities. I was told not to bother with my children since they are so high functioning. However, with no where else to turn, and L's behaviors not improving, I decided to bother. It seemed to me that the worse that could happen is that I would be turned down.

I am actually very excited. L has a full evaluation scheduled. I have attempted to get this done before, and was resigned to having to pay the Educational Psychology students to do one next semester. Now she gets to have one by a professional who specializes in Autism. Even if she gets turned down for services the evaluation will be a helpful tool for us going forward.

Any tools are welcome.

I am really worried about how my children are impacting my work. My children come first. That is easy. But what part comes first? Having money to buy them food or picking them up from afterschool when L is trying to climb over the fences?

J is going through puberty. It is a very trying experience. The worst part is that I know that we are at the beginning. There are some humorous experiences. He is trying to learn about girls via girl books in the library. He is also hungry all of the time. J eats a lot. He eats a lot for a growing 13 year old boy. When he is not very hungry he still has three heaping plates full of food. When he is starving he eats EVERYTHING in our house. He ate a couple pounds of spinach in one meal. He goes through ten pounds of fruit in about three days. We use a twenty pound bag of rice ever week, sometimes every two weeks. (Yes, I know rice is not Paleo - but I have to do something!).

I have found that J has to eat before anything else. When he wakes up he has to go eat breakfast first thing. Then he eats a second breakfast when we get to my work. He usually eats before school as well. He eats when he gets back to my work, then nibbles while I make dinner, then he eats three full plates of food. Of course before bed he also has another meal. The scary thing is, this is how hungry he is WITH his stimulate ADHD medication suppressing his appetite. I am not sure how he would make it through school.

Then there is S. S is so predictable in her moodiness that it is so much easier to account for. She hates everyone at school, sleeps a lot, does art anytime she is not suppose to and does not do it when she has free time, and lives in a world that has no basis in reality. Every few months she has a week or two where she trashes my house in the morning. She currently has five A's and one B because I promised her 50 dollars to go to the art store if she had straight A's. I honestly never thought it would happen. She badgers her teachers every day about her grades. In a way I feel sorry, in another way I am proud that she is able to do so. Yet her social and emotional skills are closer to that of a six year old, even though her body screams teenager.

I am tired. As soon as I get rid of one set of bruises/bite marks I get another set. Nothing sounds better to me then a few days without my children, a week would be amazing. Can you imagine 24 hours of never having to leave your bed? I cannot imagine actually being able to relax, even when I sleep I have to be on full alert lately.

The really good part is that work has been very understanding. I still work hard, and I am about finished with a major project in the mist of my crazy home life. It also means that coming to work to relax has not happened for the last couple of weeks. Despite it all there is nothing else to do but continue on. I have to keep hoping that things will get better. In small ways I think that it has. However, I do not thing the struggle will ever end. In many ways I think that is the hardest part.