Five Things I am Grateful For

S views her life very negatively. Everyone is out to get her, and is constantly thinking bad things about her. It is a paranoia that she has had her entire life. Currently her therapist is working with her to make a list of positive aspects of her day. She is training her brain to think positively. It is a work in progress, even the positive aspects tend to have a negative slant.

However, it has got me thinking about how negative life has been lately. Now that I have some time to catch my breath I would love to share some positive aspects about my life.

1. My Kids

In one way this is a cliché. Your kids are suppose to be at the top of your list. If I did not put them there then I would be called into question about being a bad mother, etc. Yet, I truly am grateful for my children. It is due to my children that I have grown as a human being. Before my kids I was a non functioning Aspie. I had difficulty holding down a job or communicating with the outside world. In order to care for my children I have had to learn how to advocate, communicate, budget, and basically navigate the outside world. It is because of them that I went back to get my undergraduate degree, and then my masters. I would not be who I am today without my children.

Do not get me wrong, I love them for them as well. Even on the days I want to walk away from it all I still love them. Probably why I have yet to actually walk away. While it is not my children's job to help me grown, they have and continue to do so.

2. My Church

After our run away time we came back to church to find out that people actually noticed that we were gone. For me this is a huge thing. I have the ability for people to not notice my existence even when I am sitting next to them. I would say it is an Aspie thing, except the exact opposite happens with my son.

Beyond the actual church, I am thankful for my religion. I gain a sense of piece and guidance from my faith. It is very difficult for me to believe in things without evidence. Yet, in my life I have seen the evidence of not only a God, but also the truth of the LDS religion. I know not everyone will agree, I did not agree for many years. Yet, now it is something I am grateful that I have.

3. My Job

I am very grateful for my job. It allows me to grow without overwhelming me. I work with an amazing bunch of individuals. I find joy in the work that I do, even if I am not saving the world. Beyond that I am grateful that it helps provide for my family. While we do not even qualify for middle class, we have more financial freedom then we have had since the divorce. I feel very blessed to have my job.

4. Extended Family

Every family has their own unique structure. In my family I am the youngest, and I am not sure I will every measure up. No one quite gets how Asperger's affects my personality, and it is only recently that they accepted the diagnosis. Yet, they are the people who have always had my back, no matter what. We have our differences, yet we still work to help each other out. I am grateful for that, I know it does not work that way in every family.

5. Books

I suppose in the context of everything else this may seem a little out of place. Just remember that I am an Aspie and this slot either went to books or Star Trek. Since I am older books have won out, if I was in my teens it would have been Star Trek hands down. I owe my sanity to reading. I honestly would not know what to do without books. They allow me a productive way to escape from the constant demands of this reality to a safe spot. It does not matter if the book is a paranormal fantasy, a paleo nutrition book, or a book on autism, the act of escaping into the words is what keeps me functioning.