When adults, usually those without children, freak out that my middle school children have cell phones they usually back up their claims with "I got by just fine without one when I was their age." My response to this is that when we were younger their were pay phones. When is the last time you have seen a pay phone? Even the phones are rest stops are often out of order from lack of interest. There does happen to be a pay phone down the street from where I live, it is kept in business by the homeless community that lives behind the 7-11 there.
So, my aspie and my daughter with bipolar each have a cell phone. They walk to school from my work, and text me when they arrive. On the bad days I talk on the phone with S during the walk until her minutes run out, or she arrives at school. Years ago, on the one weekend that my daughters actually visited their dad, I spent the entire weekend on the phone with them. I am not sure how I would be a single parent without the aid of cell phones.
Yet, phones were given when the person entered middle school. There is no reason for a third grader to have a phone.
Except some times there is.
L has anxiety, sever anxiety. The freak out and attack everyone kind of anxiety. Lately this has been manifesting in separation anxiety. This was brought on by her grandmother taking a two week trip. L felt abandoned and attached to me even more securely. She had a panic attack at school so bad they sent her home. She called me from her after school program. One night it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to transition her from afterschool to the car - this was the first day I actually got her to stay at afterschool.
I love my children. Because I love them I have to go to work, get money, buy their food, and pay their rent. Getting fired because L cannot function without me by her side does not work.
One morning, while dragging her around, reinforcing her for every small effort to get ready, I realized that there is a way for L to have me with her all the time. I set her up a cell phone and sent it with her to school that day.
Then I set it up with the after school program that L is allowed to text me whenever she is having a hard time. If the need arises, I will set it up with school as well.
This morning L got up, and set off her alarm - no fighting to get her out of bed. She then got ready earning her stars (a long term reinforce to get My Little Pony stuff) and her Lay's (a short term reinforcer). When I dropped her off and she realized that Grandma still was not home from vacation she had her phone in her hand, and walked into her Aunt's house. No freaking. Even yesterday, a weekend when I was right with her, she was able to transition from a freak out to playing at a neighborhood park because she was able to take her phone with her. Will it work this well forever? One can hope.
Why am I not concerned about my nine year old having a cell phone? For one thing all she can do on it is text, and I have complete control over who she can text. All of my children's phones are set up through kajeet.com. While I wish they had a better family plan, I really only pay for what we need. J and L have unlimited texting. S does not - she texts maybe five times during a month.
They cannot send or receive pictures, utilize data, get on webpages, play games (because I delete them all), or do pretty much anything fun on their phones. What they can do is set alarms, use the calendar to keep track of their events, and get ahold of me. And best of all they use either old cell phones, or five dollar phones from Virgin Mobile. So even when J went through three phones in as many months - we were not out much money at all.
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