My Testimony of Tithing

For almost a year and a half my family have been active members of the LDS church. That stands for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - members have also been known to be called Mormon. At some point I will share my conversion story. However, today I feel inspired to share my testimony of tithing.

During the first Sunday of every month one meeting is designated so that members can bare their testimonies. I have never done this. Sure I could stand and give a presentation about autism, or even my job, but when it comes to talking about myself I would completely freeze.

Instead I felt inspired to share my testimony on my blog where I can more freely speak. Writing is so much more natural then talking.

Tithing can be found through all, or maybe nearly all, Christian denominations. This is not surprising since it is found in the Bible. In our church we are taught to give ten percent of our increase to God, in today's society this is typically ten percent of your wage. This is supported by the Bible.

When we first started attending church I felt very strongly about this. When I got my new job as an ABA therapist I promptly paid my tithing. I continued to pay, even when things were really rough. Even though I was not bringing in enough money to cover our basic expenses my children had at least the minimum to live on. They never had to miss a meal, and even had snacks. We did not loose our apartment, and never even had to pay our rent late. I always had gas to go to work. This is a miracle since my paycheck was not even enough to cover rent.

Was life glorious and perfect? No, we struggled, a lot. I hope my children never truly understand that the reason I would break down and buy a five dollar pizza from Little Caesars was not my lack of assertion that it is complete garbage, but more a struggle to feed four mouths. They also never need to know how many meals I skipped. I also had to humble myself and accept help. I even remember the month where we were so desperate I had no choice but to go and ask our Bishop (the head of our church group) for food for my family. This went beyond humbling and into undoable at my current stress level. The thought of having to call a stranger on the phone was too much. So, God stepped in. The bishop called me. Not only was I able to sneak in a request for food, he gave me a calling in our Library. This gave me a purpose, did not require me to sit next to way to many adults in a crowded room, and gave L a safe place to escape to when class was too much for her - which was every sunday.  This has been amazing.

When things got beyond rough I did not pay tithing. Our situation did not improve, like I had hoped. I was not making things work hour wise with my current job, and I had not heard back anything from the countless applications I had sent out. Then I felt the inspiration that I should pay my tithing even when things are rough. I also made myself focus not on the tithing I did not pay, but on paying it from this time forward. So, I did. I nearly cried that next paycheck when I gave some of it to the church. How would we ever survive now?

But we did not just survive, we began to flourish. I got a job interview for the. . . perfect. . . job. Then I got offered the job with a pay, that will not leave us rich, will at least cover our bills plus more. This job was also right next to my older children's school. S and J were in an afterschool program that had a time restriction, meaning that they had to be in the program for three hours. I was not allowed to pick them up until 6:30, I had to pick up L from her program at 6:00. So for a half hour every evening I would be in the parking lot with L pounding on the windows, setting off the horn, and screaming at the top of her lungs because she needed to be at home, feed, and getting ready for bed. Even worse, S was inside the school in her classroom yelling, swearing, and getting in trouble because her day was way to long for her to handle.

Things are not perfect. I often wonder how God thought I could handle a son with Asperger's, ADHD, GAD, and violent outbursts that can be very scary. That is a bit much for any family, but God also gave me a daughter who sees and hears stuff, can go from happy to pissed off in a heartbeat, some days thinks she can fly of buildings, and you do not even get to know the number of holes she puts into walls throwing things. I suppose God figured I was doing so well that he also gave my a child who continually has to walk the line between autism and neurotypical, because she is too high functioning for one and not functioning enough for the other. So, as a response, she developed an anxiety disorder, has 'Satan' talking to her, and honestly thinks she is evil.

Yet, we have made it thirteen years so far. When I look back and see all that we have accomplished the future is a little less daunting. When the present becomes too overwhelming I have always managed to find a little more to allow me to hang on even when I thought I had nothing left.