The divorce rate for parents of special needs children is high. Yet time and again I have heard stories of remarriage, which truly baffles me. I think it is amazing that someone welcomes a special needs child into their life, and commits to live in chaos.
Although, I do not suspect every special needs household is as impacted as my own. I say this because there is no 'normal' 'neuro typical' 'non special needs sibling' 'insert whatever pc term here'. No, our house is composed of four special needs individuals. On bad days I have a hard time resigning myself to this for the rest of my life. On good days I have patience to deal with everything. On very good days I can almost forget about the bad days.
However, the thought of adding another member to our household is baffling. For one thing I have been single (geographically or legally) since right after L was born. That was the first time that my ex-husband deployed for a year. When he returned for the eight months during tours he only lived at home for a month. Then he deployed for another eighteen months. Then we divorced.
This amounts to a very long time of it just being the four of us.
There are some advantages to being a single mom.
1. I get the final say on everything.
2. No one complains about my cooking (the food yes - my cooking no).
3. I get to decide how our money is spent.
4. Well basically all the good points have to do with the household being run my way.
Do I want to be single forever? No, not really. But even if there was someone out there who had no problem with the days where we miss church because S spent five hours screaming because her birthday party exhausted her two days earlier, I probably would not even notice he existed.
See dating with Asperger's is hard. In truth I do not believe the world notices me. In actuality my best friend would tell me when someone was checking me out. It is hard to start anything when you have no clue that someone is interested.
Which is why I met my ex-husband on the internet. And well. . . that did not turn out all that great.
So, for now I am stuck with the realization that yet another anniversary of my divorce has past. (It is unfortunate that it is the same day as L's birthday.) I am not even certain if it has been three or four years. What I do know is that this valentines will be spent collecting any candy L did not sneak, consoling S because she did not get a valentine, and with J not even noticing the holiday's existence.
So for everyone out there - Happy Valentines Day - or - Happy Singles Appreciation Day.
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