How We Run Away

There are many rituals associated with spring. You may engage in spring cleaning, or enjoy spring break. You may even have a case of spring fever.

Our house seems to go crazy right after daylight savings time.

Don't believe me? Check out the change in my blog. This time of year it is about all I can do to hang on keep going.

About four years ago, S was having an especially difficult time. It had been about a year since she had last seen her dad. She still held him up on a pedestal at the time, as well she was not very stable. Although, arguably she is not stable now either. It was during an especially hard day that S decided that she was going to run away.

I realized right away that this was the way S had found to handle the over abundance of stress in her life. You can either fight or flee - she had decided to run.

With her bag pack with who knows what she stood at our door trying to bolt. She had a plan in her head which was perfectly logical to her irrational mind. She was going to go to a 'friend's house' that she knew the general area of. The fact that she had never met the parents, and the kids barely even talked to her, was never a cause for concern. Life was hard here, and she was going to find some place better.

It was then that I got a brilliant idea that would become a family tradition to this day.

I looked at her and asked if we could run away together.

She agreed.

Then I asked if she could give me two days.

She agreed.

At the time we were very poor. I was a full time grad student with no income. Although, I was receiving child support from both J's and the girl's dad (oh the good old days). I had next to no money and what I did have was marked for bills.

I did the only responsible thing that I could. I spent the money on a hotel room with a pool. It was about an hour away from our house, and right next to a children's museum. The kids swam a lot. We walked around the museum. Most importantly we relaxed and got away from our daily routine.

While we still have to watch our money, we have some flexibility to actually do fun things throughout the year. Yet even these have not taken away the need to have our annual run away trip. It is not called a vacation - it is not a vacation - it is running away. In fact we need it so much this year we are going on two different run away trips in a one week period.

Rules of Running Away

-Relax
-Do not Worry about Anything
-Do not stress, especially about having fun
-Go with the flow
-There are no rules

I do not spend the time ragging on my kids. If they do not want to shower, oh well. If they want to eat crappy, I will gently remind them what is best. If they want to stay in the pool another hour, we stay. I do not remind them to use their words, make eye contact, talk quieter, stop running, or the thousand other things that come out of my mouth every day.

Yet my children are so liberated by the simple concept of running away that they behave like little angels - well little special needs angels.

Heading into our fourth run away trip the kids are so attuned to what is coming they are already allowing their bodies to relax. About three days ago L stopped having any sort of behaviors. While part of this was due to her brother's behavior improving, it was also due to the knowledge that we were running away. I know because she told me. "I can not wait until we go," "I just need to get through this week and then we get to go," and then the night before we left she put herself to bed at seven so the day would just come faster.

This year is just as simple as the last. We are getting a hotel room for two nights. We will be headed to a museum. Then I will go back to work for a few days, and we will take off and go camping. Two days of just the four of us with nothing to do except relax and enjoy nature.

The truth is, I enjoy running away just as much as the kids.